Text Message

I have just received a text message.

It says:

'Just to remind you not to forget you have an appointment at the hospital at @ 10.45 on 16/03'.

Like I would bloody forget. Like my life is so busy that my appointment with a bloody oncologist to discuss my upcoming chemotherapy for bloody CANCER is something I might just happen to bloody 'forget'.

May I take this opportunity to say thank you to the RB Hospital for reminding me not to forget...

I have organised my weekend. No more leisurely weekend mornings reading a good book with a cup of coffee and thinking about going to the gym/shopping/who I am meeting for dinner. Nope, I am on a mission over the next 2 or 3 weekends before I start chemotherapy. I am going to try and squeeze in seing all my friends, liberally scattered around several shires, before I start looking and feeling like shit.

Saturday I am seeing 3 good friends in Kent/Sussex and Sunday is 'daughter day'. It is obviously Mother's Day too and we had already arranged lunch in my honour some weeks ago pre-knowing-about-cancer. I spoke to her to remind her earlier...but, perhaps in hindsight, I ought to have sent her a text message saying 'Just to remind you not to forget that you have an appointment with your mother @ 12 noon on 14/03'

Anyway, my method-acting poker face (or phone voice) would make Robert De Niro weep. She hasn't got an inkling of what I am going to tell her...which is just the way I want it. She is off 'hard-trancing' (or is it 'hard-dancing'?) at some club in Brighton Saturday night...I don't want to ruin her night out, although I hope she is reasonably bright-eyed and bushey-tailed and not too fecked Sunday...

New GP is organised by the way...quick phone call and I am now a patient of Dr Lucy who, I understand from my boss, had breast cancer some years ago. Bingo, there should be some empathy already imbibed in her professional manner.

I have also sorted out my gym membership. Played the 'cancer card' and had said membership frozen for as long as I need it...saved myself a few quid by not cancelling and can restart it once I am up to it.

In fact, having this cancer marlarkey has its advantages...I wonder if I can get any free stuff (and I don't mean the big folder of leaflets the breast cancer nurse gave me the other day). Perhaps Missoni and Hermes would like to give me a free scarf for my chemo-fried bald head at some point?

Bet Kylie didn't have to pay for her headscarves...