Today, a stranger in a shop said this to me:
"Why don't you draw attention away from your bald head by wearing large jewellery, you know, like a big necklace?".
This was what I wanted to reply:
"Why don't you go fuck yourself?"
I didn't. I wanted to, but I didn't.
I know she was trying to be helpful and kind and thoughtful but hell, lady, if you knew me you would know I wouldn't wear large jewellery like a 'big necklace' if my life depended upon it.
Who do you think I am? Pat fucking Butcher?
Save me, save me from turning into someone who accessorises for cancer!
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Seeing as you now look so 'ard, I'm surprised you didn't nut her! ;-}
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