Yuckiness.

I thought I'd blog a quickie, seeing as I haven't written for what seems an age (time is strange at the moment!) and I am sure you are all hanging on the sides of your chairs awaiting a further instalment. And also to say thanks to everyone who has sent me little messages of love and support. It is appreciated...

OK. Taxotere is truly shit super weapons grade stuff. I really am suffering side effects. I know that sounds odd, but remember I haven't suffered at all for the first lot of chemo and this has actually been rather a shock...and a steep learning curve. I just so wasn't expecting it to be this 'yucky'.

My mouth feels like it is full of hot, wet cotton wool. My tongue feels swollen as do my lips. They are not, it is just everything feels odd. No mouth ulcers and it isn't 'sore', but the mouth is affected.

No sense of taste really. No appetite either.

My stomach is also affected now...as they said it might. Nothing awful and I wouldn't say it is chronic enough to have to use the medication...yet. My intestines sound like a cappuchino maker! Then it is off to the loo...

The bone pain is still there, but I am either used to it or the pain killers are helping.

My biggest problem, and it really is a problem, is my lack of sleep. I am still not sleeping. It can't be the Dex now...it is a mixture of the bone pain and, I think, routine. I am just out of the habit of sleeping for more than an hour or so in one go. Thus I am awake, and really awake at least 4 times in the night...I go for a walk, I read, I just lay there.

Night time is like torture.

...the knock on effect is my head feels like I have a plastic bag over it. I think I am probably exhausted. I can't think straight, I have no energy at all. I can't be arsed!

And, believe me, this is so hard for me. I am normally full of energy and get up and go. I don't do 'can't be arsed'. But I think I need a night's sleep. It would help me enormously!

It isn't easy working full time like this...on the other hand, I have little choice.

I have therefore decided to make an appt with Dr Lucy and see if she can prescribe something to help. I have never taken a sleeping tablet in my life! They frighten me, to be honest...just like a general anaesthetic frightens me. Ridiculous, I know. But I don't think it is healthy to no have more than a few hours sleep in one go in nearly a week and try and live normally whilst having chemo.

Lordy, this all sounds so negative. It is not. I knew this might happen and I am sure lots of people suffer far worse than I me. Like I said, if Kylie can do it, so can I. I am sure the week will get better.

I hope so.