Post-Taxotere infusion side effects have hit and they are perfectly on time. Or at least, they have surfaced at exactly the same time as before. At least this shit is predictable...
I made sure I took some painkillers and a sleeping tablet on Friday night, seeing as the bone pain started on the morning of day 3 of the cycle. Lo and behold, 3am and I wake up feeling my leg bones again. I am not sure how effective the Tam is to be honest. I took it again last night and found myself awake in the middle of the night...
Bone pain ok. Long bones, wrists, ankles and knees just feel tingly and crampy. I am taking the prescription-only painkillers and although I can still feel the pain, it really isn't so bad. It wasn't terrible last time, just uncomfortable really. Certainly, I am not rolling around on the floor or anything.
It'll be gone in 24 hours or so, if it follows the same path as last time. I haven't taken any painkillers this morning and I feel ok. I don't want to abuse the tablets I have been given, particularly as I seem to develop some kind of resistance to things sometimes.
Tongue and mouth feels soggy and swollen. Like I have been chewing stinging nettles. Again, not awful, just uncomfortable. Absolutely no sense of taste or, indeed, appetite. I swig Difflam mouthwash, as this will prevent infection apparently.
I am still grateful that I have not suffered much, particularly when I read other womens' experiences and see how much they suffer so badly with the side effects. I am very lucky, all things considered.
Thing is, when I feel like this, I don't feel particularly sociable. I did not leave the house yesterday (even though I had plans). I prefer to be on my own and just deal with it alone. I have always been like this actually. I am quite a self-contained individual.
And anyway, if there was someone with me I might just start rolling around on the floor and milking it for all it's worth!
My hands are still peeling away. There seems no end to this and I imagine it will not go away now until I finish Taxotere. My skin generally is 'ok'. Obviously, a lot of psoriasis but I think some of the flare has lost its sting. The redness has diminished, as has the itch. This is pretty good and I hope it indicates I am not going to go erythrodermic, at the moment anyway. Mind you, I am covering myself in potent steroid at the moment...not clearing any patches (which is what it is supposed to do) and the risk of rebound is high if I stop it. Hah, caught between the devil and deep blue sea again!
I have calmed down significantly, as I knew I would. One thing I have not so much 'learned' about myself, perhaps more 'confirmed', is that when something angers/upsets me, or something happens that I have little control over, I need to rail against it. I need to swear (in private). I need to shout (again, in private). I just need to let it explode in my head. Then I can think rationally again and start figuring it out, making plans, accepting things.
I am not sure if this is what the average person does, but it is what I do. I would not criticise someone else's coping mechanism, so I hope no one criticises mine...
And I know, until I have the results of the ultrasound, that there is little to be done. Once that result in in, then things can be discussed and plans decided upon.
One thing I have noticed over the last few weeks is how people I hardly know are full of opinions. I mean, we all have opinions and some people like theirs to be known. Loudly. Look at the Jeremy Kyle Show...nothing more than people taking a moral highground and then letting their opinions on the personal matters of people they don't know personally, be known. On public television. I suppose if you do hang your dirty knickers out on ITV1 every weekday morning, then they will be rifled through!
I remember being pregnant. You kind of become public property then too and oh, how people liked to give their opinions on my choosing to have a home birth. People I did not know.
Some people are doing similarly with my breast cancer.
Why do some people think that their opinion is wanted? When it hasn't been asked for? When they don't know the full situation? And particularly when they don't really know the person they are giving their unwanted opinion to?
By the way, these people are not from here. I don't want you to think any of our happy Plaingoldband gang are self-opinionated, thoughtless dickheads.
Off to have my nails painted black again. So far, my nails are still attached to my fingers and toes!
Quote of the Day: "We have no right to express an opinion until we know all the answers" Kurt Kobain
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I know it'll be "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" but what about the future treatment of your psoriasis? As you now have or will have a history of cancer does that make you unsuitable for immuno-suppressant treatments? Is the breast cancer going to screw up your future treatment options?
ReplyDeleteHave you asked your oncologist or surgeon whether they have ever treated someone with cancer complicated by severe psoriasis. If not should you then expect that they consult with someone who has?