"This is a snakeskin jacket! And for me it's a symbol of my individuality, and my belief... in personal freedom"

So Round 4 of Fight Club is tomorrow morning. Technically, this should be the 'half way' mark. It all depends upon the result of my next ultrasound. If Colin, the little fuck, is smaller, I will keep going on the super strength Domestos Taxotereshit. If no smaller or (gulp) bigger, then I am in trouble...instant tit-off territory.

And then, who knows...chemo won't have worked and I may be left with the odd stray cancer cell roaming at will around my body looking for a nice liver (without fava beans and a nice chianti) or a lung to make a new home in....

But I get ahead of myself...

I have heard that with the Taxotereshit infusion 2 there is a slightly increased risk of going into shock. Hurruh! Something to look forward to tomorrow then.

To be honest, I am more concerned with my hands at this point. I look like a snake shedding its skin...both hands are skinned, right up to the finger tips now. I have never experienced anything quite like this in my life...and even moisturising them every 30 minutes does nothing. They look awful (unlike a snake, which looks gorgeous underneath) but I am happy to report that there is no pain or soreness, which is strange, because they look like they ought to be sore. I look like I have an extremely bad case of sunburn!

Some women pay good money for a 'chemical peel'. My experience of chemicals and peeling is a complete rip off...

I think it will be a challenge for the nursey Bernards. I am not sure where they can put that there needle tomorrow morning...my veins are covered up with this rash and the peeling skin.

The steroid I am applying, a moderate-to-potent one, is doing nothing. Anywhere on my body. That is 7 days worth of application now and I don't think it is going to do anything now. I kind of knew this already to be honest. I have never responded to the most potent of steroids. Blame it on using so much of them throughout my life for psoriasis.

It is all getting so very 'complicated'. Why can't I be the chemo patient who gets to suffer the bog standard nausea, fatigue and runny tummy? Nope, I have to be the bone pain and 'skin rash' patient. Typical. I always liked being 'different'.

I have just so much to look forward to over the next 5 days, don't I? I wonder if the England v. USA can distract me from it all...

So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight...

Quote of the day: "I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin..." Skeet Ulrich