Cancerspotter

I have slept, without drugs, for 2 nights now. Life is so much more managable when you have had some sleep...

I don't seem to have suffered any further side effects from the last chemo. There was just the 3 days (Sunday to Tuesday) last week. And it would have been oh-so easy if I had pain killers and some sleep. I reckon I did pretty well really, seeing as most people suffer for the few weeks and then feel ok the last week of the cycle.

I can live with it.

One interesting thing has come to my attention over the last week or so. When people see the headscarf and look at me, they smile. I think they see someone with cancer and their immediate reaction is to smile at me. People didn't smile at me like this before cancer. People were just people. But I know I am not imagining this. People serving me in shops seem friendlier too.

I wonder what they think when they see me? Do they think 'poor woman'? Or do they think 'thank god that is not me'?

I can spot another chemo person a mile off too, even if they are wearing a wig. I just know. Strange, isn't it? I never noticed them before. I suppose I may have smiled at them too, in my life before Colin and Fight Club. I wonder what I thought when I smiled at them? Can't bloody remember...

I saw they may have found a breast cancer vaccine or something like that. It works on mice apparently. I suppose, like cancerspotting out and about, I now notice how much breast cancer is mentioned in newspapers and in the news generally. I know it is the most common cancer in the western world and the most common cancer in women. They now say 1 in 8 women will get breast cancer in their lifetime. I suppose I am getting it out the way early! That will leave me time to get something else, won't it? You know, Parkinsons or Hodgkins Lymphoma or some such disease. 1 in 8 is pretty awful odds really, isn't it? I can see why it gets so much press and so much cash for research, for it seems to touch so many people; their mothers, their sisters, their wives and girlfriends.

I am trying to research jumping-out-of-an-areoplane-for-charity. Best friend plus 2 other slightly mad people I know are doing it for cancer charities: one will do breast and prostate; one will do Macmillan and Best Friend is doing it to raise some cash specifically for the West Wing. They need some decent headphones for the DVD players they have. Yes, they have DVD players, but no decent headphones that work. Best Friend and I reckon that would be a good thing to buy with her sponsor money. It will make a difference. I like the idea of spreading the cash around non-breast cancer charities too, which is why we want to do Macmillan and prostate. You men, you really are rubbish at publicising and raising money for your own unique little cancer, aren't you? So one of the mad women is going to jump for the prostate!

If anyone knows anyone who does cut-price-jumping-out-of-planes-for-charity, do let me know. The local airfield to here wants to charge 250 quid each!