Staying cool, calm and collected...

Today I had chemo. The chemo they weren't going to give me blah blah.

Yesterday I had my blood test to see if them there white blood cells have regenerated after the Taxoshit from 3 weeks ago.

I was the first patient in today. All I had to do was ask if my WBC was good-to-go at 9am and then I was first in the West Wing Cowshed for the chemo to be milked into me.

That was the plan...but this is Plaingoldband we are talking about here.

The fuckers 'lost' my blood test results. Yes, I dragged my sorry cancer-stricken ass to a nurse yesterday, had blood taken and sent to the RB Pathology lab and it got lost somewhere.

No blood test results = no chemo until more blood is taken.

So, at 9.15am I went up to the West Wing, explained the clinic nurse couldn't find bloods, asked if they would shove a cannula in early, take blood out of it, I would walk it to the other end of the hospital to Path Lab and then I would walk back and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The bloods have to be checked. The results sent to West Wing. The oncologist has to ok them. Then the pharmacy will sort out the Taxoshit and send it up.

I waited in God's Waiting Room from 10am to 2pm. I saw other people come, have chemo and go.

Then I had my chemo. That took 2 hours, plus wash through.

I left with the nurses as they closed up the cowshed for the night.

I was there at 8.30am as the first patient, me being an eager beaver. I ended up being the last patient to receive treatment.

Yeah, I'll turn the lights off on myu wait out, guys.

Now, I was serene through this. You see it isn't the fault of the nurse Bernards. It isn't even the fault of Woolley Omar. It was the 'system'. The NHS that is not perfect.

But I spent over 10 hours (including travelling-to-hospital-time) to receive 2 hours of treatment.

Each Nursey gave me a hug and thanked me for my patience. I think most people kick up a stink if this happens, probably taking it out on them. Me? I don't like it, but it happens.

On the other hand, poor communication and being treated like a number by the oncologists is not ok by me.

See? I can discriminate in my railing. I don't just kick against all the pricks, particularly when it is not their fault. It was probably the fault of some snotty-nosed teenage undergraduate doing a summer job, who just happened to delete my blood test results off the system or something by mistake.

Hey, one thing I can report is I am now officially a bloody medical enigma! I am sure I wrote a long time back that chemo kills white blood cells in the bone marrow. It kills off the neutrophils first and without them, you are at risk of infection during the nadir, the lowest point before the bone marrow starts up again. You cannot have chemo if your WBC and neutros are not above 1.5. The more chemo you have, the less your bone marrow makes and many people find it hard to get enough after 3 weeks and often have to delay chemo until they have enough. Indeed, some need to have special injections to make emergency ones...this is why people get sick whilst having chemo.

I have had 5 cycles of chemo. By rights, my body is suffering right now. My neurophils should get lower and lower after each blood test, as the bome marrow is more and more suppressed.

From the very first blood test, back in April, my neutrophils have gone up.

Yesterday, my WBC and my neutrophil count was higher than when I started chemo. At 4.99, my neutrophil count is well within the boundaries of a normal healthy person, not a chemo-fried cancer patient. The nurses couldn't believe it at all, particularly as I was warned by this time I may have to have chemo delayed as my counts would go dangerously low...

I am either Popeye, or an alien. Obviously...