All the World's a Stage (ing)

Today was my big 'staging day'. That is when they find out whether Colin and Malcom have gone forth and multiplied and made some other cells join their cancer union. I am Type 2 breast cancer, but 'staging' labels how far those scamps have got around my body.

This entailed ultrasound of all abdominal organs, lung x-ray, ECG and a full bone scan.

I also met my consultant oncologist to discuss chemotherapy. I had been 'warned' that said consultant oncologist could be rather, um, 'unfriendly'. I rather liked her myself.

Anyway, I have an unofficial 'all clear' on all my organs, but have to wait for the other test results. I am not concerned. Scouse said the chances of this was minimal. I believe him.

Actually, I had a blast today. I enjoyed myself. Don't laugh, but it was all rather exciting. I mean, how many of you have seen your own spleen or seen a full scanned picture of your skeleton? I have. How many of you know what a radioactive isotope is and how it works in a gamma x-ray machine? I do. And my heart is as strong as an ox...

The one downer was the RB Cancer Suite. This was fucking depressing. Not because of the 'cancer' bit, but because it was rather drab and full of old people. I mean really old people. Me and best friend were the youngest there by at least 30 years. And they were miserable looking. Not a lot of laughs to be had in the RB Cancer Suite, I can tell you. And don't castigate me here for being insensitive but lighten up old people, you are whole lot older than me and have had far more opportunities to actually 'live' by dint of your old age...and I am still smiling*

I was also most excited to be given my own credit card-sized 'Medical Alert' card to put in my wallet. This is to inform people of my very poorly cancer/chemotherapy status if I collapse in Waitrose and need urgent medical assistance (it's true, there's some things money can't buy...for everything else there is my medical alert card). I was also chuffed with my 'access all areas' free parking pass to the hospital car park. Oh, and I am over the moon about not having to pay for prescriptions again, ever, as I got an exemption form.

See, I got free stuff. I knew there had to be a upside to having cancer...



* I know, I know...cancer is not all high jinks and japes...forgive me. It is not for me to judge how people cope with their illness and treatment. It was just soooo depressing, if only one of them had smiled just once...